Mormon Wives’ Jessi Ngatikaura Confesses to Her Sins: ‘The Truth Always Comes Out’

Jessi Ngatikaura has conflicted feelings about her affair with Vanderpump Villa’s Marciano Brunette finally coming out on Season 3 of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.

“It’s a mixed bag of emotions. I’m ready to share it so there’s no more speculation, and I can just be honest,” she tells StyleCaster. “Because I am such an open book, it’s hard not to talk about it. But also, I’m nervous because I have no idea what the audience’s reaction will be. It was such a vulnerable thing to share. It’s embarrassing. I’m also sharing a lot about my marriage and the dynamic I’ve had.”

Jessi, who has been married to husband Jordan Ngatikaura since 2020, met Marciano while filming Vanderpump Villa Season 2 in 2024. After months of speculation, she finally confessed to having an emotional affair with him to cast member Layla Taylor in The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Season 3 premiere episode. “The minute Layla told me, I was like, ‘Hey, we just have to come out with it,’” she said. “Because I see it on reality TV, where people run from things, and the truth always comes out. You can’t have secrets when you’re being filmed. I would look worse if I denied it, and then it came out again later.” 

As for why she never considered continuing the lie, Jessi credited her Secret Lives of Mormon Wives co-star Taylor Frankie Paul, whose swinging scandal and arrest were main storylines in Season 1, for giving her the courage to take accountability for her infidelity. “I honestly took Taylor’s lead,” she said. “She went through so much in Season 1 and 2. Because of that, I was like, ‘Well, she paved the way for me to do this publicly.’ I actually leaned on her a lot.”

But Jessi’s affair with Marciano isn’t the only revelation to come from The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Season 3, which also sees her open up about the emotional abuse she’s faced from Jordan in their six-year marriage. That’s also not to mention her falling out with castmate and former best friend Demi Engemann, whom she accuses of convincing Marciano to lie about them having sex during their affair. 

The day before the premiere of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Season 3, Jessi sat down with StyleCaster to break down the season—from where her marriage with Jordan is now to the last time she talked to Marciano to why she’s done giving Demi second chances: “I’ve learned my lesson.”

We see you call Jordan from the car to tell him that the affair came out. What was the conversation once you got home?

At first, he was like, “We have to quit the show. We’re not talking about this.” We stayed up all night. I got no sleep, and it was just like, “OK, this is coming out, so first and foremost, we need to tell our family and friends, and we need to figure out what we’re doing.” I told him, “I want to share my story because it’s already been talked about on camera now, and if I don’t, it’ll be told without me.” And it was the same for him. Then he calmed down and realized, “OK, you’re right.” We just need to be honest. That’s the decision we came to that night, and then the next morning, cameras came back over, and we continued that conversation.

What led to the decision to open up about Jordan’s emotional abuse during your marriage?

We weren’t going to talk about it at first. In the first couple of episodes, you don’t see me talk about that. It’s mainly just the affair. But then what happened was on the St. George trip, Taylor was like, “You’re just so jokey and laughy, what’s going on?” I broke down and told them what was going on, and that wasn’t planned. When I got home from that trip, there was a scene of him yelling at me, and that also brought it to the surface. Then it was impossible to hide, because a lot of people will see, if he could do that on camera, what’s happening behind the scenes? It was unavoidable, but it was good, because you couldn’t tell the story without the full piece. It needed to be every aspect—the dynamic of our marriage, how I was feeling, why I was even in the headspace to do what I did. 

Did Jordan know you were going to talk about it?

No, he didn’t. But luckily, not luckily, he ended up yelling at me on camera. So it was unavoidable. Even though I did what I did, it was like, “OK, well, now you’re showing your behavior.” It’s out there. You can’t deny it or run from it now. Our marriage wouldn’t have gotten better, and there wouldn’t have been any changes if this hadn’t all come to light. In a weird way, I’m grateful for it, because it forced us to get into therapy and take a look at what each of us was doing.

So you and Jordan are still together?

We’re still together and working on things. We’re in therapy constantly, and we try to do the best we can to learn. This airing is going to be scary because not only did we live through it, but now we’re going to have to hear opinions, and the world will know. I’m sure we’ll need more therapy.

I see it on reality TV, where people run from things, and the truth always comes out.

How did you come to the decision to stay together? 

We always said it was a 90-day separation. At the end of that, we evaluated where we were at. For me, being separated was really hard, but we were also filming a TV show on top of it, so it was a real separation, but we were also forced to be together, film, and talk about this with our friends. There wasn’t a chance to let the emotion sink in. For me, I want to know I did everything. If it works out, great, and if it doesn’t, at least we know I gave it my all, because we have two kids, our families are really close, and we’ve been together almost six years now, so that’s a scary thing to let go of. I decided to give it one more chance, and it’s been going better. There are always ups and downs, but hopefully we can just continue.

What was Jordan’s reaction to Marciano complimenting you and calling you beautiful?

That was crazy. He didn’t love it, for sure. But I also didn’t love my behavior. Watching that back, I was way too friendly to Marciano, but I was in a weird headspace. I was separated, thinking I was probably gonna get a divorce. There were still unresolved feelings of Marciano. Not that I was still feeling anything crazy, but I hadn’t seen him since it ended, and it brought back emotions. Also, I was trying to get to the bottom of the Demi stuff and the lie she told about me, so I needed to be friendly and nice. Jordan didn’t love that, but he also understood, because I was honest with him. It was also closure for me. 

When was the last time you talked to Marciano?

It was in May, so six months ago. It was right around the time we were wrapping up filming. Right before and throughout filming, I felt like I needed to keep in contact with him for the answers I needed about all the Demi stuff. But over time, I just got to the point where I was like, if Jordan and I are gonna try again and get back together, I can’t continue to talk to him, even if it’s innocent. So I just blocked him. I’m sure, with the show coming out, I’ll hear something. But I haven’t heard from him directly. 

How did you tell your kids?

My kids are five and two, so at the time of our separation, they knew we were living apart, and my oldest would ask, “Where’s Dad? Where’s Mom?” He didn’t quite understand. That’s definitely a conversation we’re probably gonna have to have with them when they get older, and maybe when they watch the show or they hear about it. I just didn’t know how to tell a five-year-old and a two-year-old, so luckily, they were young, and I didn’t quite need to.

You can’t have secrets when you’re being filmed.

What’s your relationship with Demi now?

Non-existent. We have our ups and downs. I really was trying to make it work, because we’re co-workers, and it’s so awkward to have to film with someone you either don’t like or you’re yelling at each other. I really wanted to make it work. But since that all happened, there’s just been a few more things where I’m like, “I’m just gonna pump the brakes. I just don’t know if this was the right relationship for me.” There was a small time [I considered reconciling.] You’ll see in the last episode, where we come back together and try to put our differences aside. For a couple of months it was good. But again, people always show you who they really are. It very quickly turned, and for me, I was like, “OK, fifth time is the charm. I’ve learned my lesson enough with you.”

What was your reaction to some of the lie detector answers coming back as inconclusive?

I always tell everyone that doing a lie detector test is so scary. You have a blood pressure cuff. You go numb for five minutes. You get lightheaded. You have all these wires. I was nervous. My heart’s probably beating so fast. I don’t know if that affects it, but there was the one question that said, “Was there any other physical contact outside of kissing?” It was inconclusive. It’s because, in my head, I was like, “We didn’t have sex.” But I forgot he would put his arm around me, or we would hold hands. I guess that stuff counts.” I just wasn’t thinking. Then there were two more like, “Did you ever lie about Marciano? Did you ever lie about Demi?” At the time of the test, I was like, “I’m being honest. Everything’s coming out. I’m not lying.” But I forgot I had lied for six months about Marciano by trying to keep this secret. And then for Demi, I lied for her after Italy by acting like everything was fine—no inappropriate things happened, and clearly that was a cover. I answered them in the moment, not remembering I had a history of lying about it. I’m just glad I passed the important question, which was we didn’t have sex. 

What was Jordan’s reaction to the lie detector test coming back as inconclusive?

He questioned it when he watched it back. He’s like, “Why was that inconclusive?” But I explained it, and honestly, I proved myself as much as I could. I know the truth, and I could go crazy trying to make everyone believe it. I’m not gonna sit and try to force it. I’ve already taken a test. I can tell you the answer, and I have to just let go and let God at this point, because there’s always gonna be people who don’t believe me. I think he believes me now.

Would you come back for Season 4?

I’ve really enjoyed doing this show. Even though it’s hard, it’s like therapy in a way. You’re being forced to talk about your feelings. I’m guilty of numbing it down, pushing it under the rug, not talking about my feelings. These are some of my best friends. I would hang out with them, regardless. If we’re already talking about our lives. Why not have a camera there?

The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Season 3 streams on Hulu.