7 Gifts You Absolutely Shouldn’t Get Your Boyfriend, According to Mine

This is my first holiday season with a partner in a long time. And while I consider gift-giving to be one of my main love languages, I admit I’m stumped on what to get him. How do I find clothes I know will fit his 6’4 frame? Will he think I’m lame if I gift him literature? Isn’t a nicely-framed photo of me all this man should really want?! When I looked online for inspo, I was met with a myriad of cheesy suggestions I knew right away he wouldn’t want. Why do gift guides always recommend the worst gifts for men???

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So, to help out anyone else who may be struggling while shopping for their partner this season—and, to prevent myself from wasting my hard-earned coin on something he’ll hate—I recruited him for A Boyfriend‘s Guide To What Men Do & Don’t Want For Christmas. It’s a working title!

How many times have you scrolled through a super weak men’s gift guide and realized your dad, brother or partner would absolutely hate 99 percent of the suggestions? Story of my life! And because I’m sure my boyfriend, Pat, has received a few lame gifts in his lifetime, he was more than willing to help me select some alternate gifts to replace the usual cheesy suspects.

Below, read on for seven overdone gift ideas you can definitely skip, and seven boyfriend-approved presents actually worth snagging this holiday season. And if your partner hates them, you can totally blame Pat. See if I care. Happy shopping!

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SKIP: The “Manly” Candle. SNAG: A Diffuser.

Plenty of candle companies boast “masculine” scent options for the manly man in your life who apparently hates scents like vanilla, lavender and fresh linen. Insert a massive eye roll here! My boyfriend is in the habit of buying a random Yankee Candle on Amazon without ever smelling it first—but after he used my electric diffuser a single time, he went home and ordered one for himself. Talk about love at first whiff! Buy him one that complements his space and stock him up with a few scents you’ll both enjoy.

SKIP: The Couple’s Massage. SNAG: A Theragun.

OK, so full disclosure, we do enjoy a good couple’s massage. But we get way more use out of my Theragun, so it’s definitely a gift worth giving. Plus, it’s a bit of a splurge, so if you’re asking for something pricy, too, you want to make sure he’s getting something of equal value that he’ll also adore! The Theragun Mini really isn’t that mini at all, packing all the power of the larger version but in a more compact size to bring pack and forth for date nights. DIY spa date, anyone?

SKIP: The Christmas Pajamas. SNAG: Some Bougie Joggers.

I’ll never understand why people gift Christmas-related things on Christmas Day. Congrats, I can literally use this gift once before putting it away for a full year! Cute couple’s PJs or an ugly Christmas sweater might seem fun, but your man would prefer something he can wear year-round. Exhibit A? The TikTok-famous ABC Joggers. The ABC stands for Anti-Ball Crushing, and they come in multiple lengths and fits, not to mention 14 colorways in case they become an annual gift.

SKIP: The Dopp Kit. SNAG: A Travel Bag.

Don’t ask me why men’s toiletry bags need a different name, I don’t make the rules. But dopp kits are a common gift that can sometimes be wonderful—IF your man doesn’t already have one. They don’t need multiples the way I buy a new makeup bag every chance I get! If you want to get him something for travel, consider a solid travel bag or even a carry-on suitcase if you’re looking to splurge. Bags that fit a lot and look chic can be hard to find, but Away’s Everywhere Bag gets the job done.

SKIP: Desk Accessories. SNAG: Bar Cart Accessories

Pat told me plain and simple: Men do not want desk knick-knacks, organizers, etc. That’s not a gift, it’s an office intervention! So imagine my surprise when he started to rave about Brookstone—yes, that random store in the mall with all the gadgets. Apparently, they make stellar novelty decanters and glassware. You heard it here first: Men want bar cart accessories! Give them what they want so they can pretend to be classy on date night.

SKIP: The Sentimental Gift. SNAG: A Date Night Card Game.

OK, this is one we both recommend. I personally don’t think every holiday or special event merits a super mushy sentimental gift, so if you’ve overdone it with the last few presents but still want to give something that feels personal, a dating-focused card game is a really great gift. Pat and I both love We’re Not Really Strangers , and there’s even a Relationships Expansion Pack you can add to up the ante, or go for the Couples Edition Set. Gift it with a bottle of your partner’s favorite booze, then get drunk and play together. Prepare for things to get deep!

SKIP: The Old-School Shaving Kit. SNAG: A Groin Grooming Kit

The number one gift I’ve never understood is a retro shaving kit. Every dude I know uses his electric razor for a last-minute shave like, once a week—why are we pretending they want to waste time doing it the old-fashioned way? When I mentioned this to Pat, he immediately offered up Manscaped as a company offering cool alternatives to old-school shave kits. The Perfect Package 4.0 is a groin grooming kit he’ll actually use. And TBH, that’s a gift for both of you in the long run.