5 Ways to Deal With the Fact That Kris and Bruce Jenner Are Getting Divorced
Around a year ago, it was revealed that Kris Jenner and the sort-of Kardashian family patriarch Bruce Jenner decided to separate after 22 years of marriage. The news came as a surprise to fans of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians,” since—apart from the occasional scuffle over silly stuff like race cars—they usually presented a unified front.
MORE: What’s Really Going on With Bruce Jenner?
Despite hilarious and maybe-true rumors that Bruce decided to undergo a sex change, he and his wife have been spotted out and about together giving us hope that a ratings bonanza reconciliation may be in the works. Not so, as it was announced this week that Kris has filed for divorce. In case you’re taking the news particularly hard, we’ve compiled five coping methods fit for any superfan.
1. Revisit the stripper pole incident of ’07
If you have absolutely nothing to do, like, ever, quell your depression by Netflixing 2007’s Season 1 of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” and try not to cry when Bruce and Kris celebrate their anniversary and Khloe buys them—OMG!!!—a stripper pole. Life was so simple back then.
2. Make your man get an ear pierced and a hay-colored dye job.
For obvious reasons. Oh, and—depending on how dedicated you are—bring him to the plastic surgeon for a few nips and tucks, and convince him to shave down his Adam’s Apple.
3. Devote all your energy to keeping up with Kim and Kanye.
Forget the old folks and focus on what’s really important—Kim Karsdashian‘s insane levels of fame thanks to boyfriend Kanye West and the fact that her boobs are always out. But really, since Kris and Bruce announced their separation, these two have bagged a Vogue cover, threw a super-classy (and totally low-key) European wedding, regularly cavort with fashion power players, and have hinted that Kim’s planning to ease up on reality TV, which means you’ll really have to work for your gossip. Hey, we could all benefit from not having things come as easily to us.
4. Write letters to E!
About what? Here are a few ideas:
- Request legal documents be sent to you priority overnight to see for yourself whether the divorce is real. It’s your right, loyal fan.
- Demand to know when Kendall and Kylie will be getting their own show and if will it document any custody battle details (Kylie is a minor, after all.)
- Suggest that Brody Jenner, his boring brother, and his brother’s wife (who looks scarily like Bruce’s second wife, Linda Thompson) get their own reality show immediately to ease any Jenner withdrawal.
5. Keep this on loop until the pain subsides:
