“Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?” Now that Halloween season is underway, it’s time to get well acquainted with the witch from pop culture that matches your zodiac sign and tap into your silver-screen sorceress. Not to worry, dancing naked under the full moon is entirely optional!
If you’re not calling upon the guardians of the four corners with your secret circle, then you may simply prefer to indulge your feverish fantasies, brewing psychedelic potions like The Love Witch. Others of you may resonate more with the Owens women from Practical Magic, who have no choice but to break generational curses casted by a matriarch with a broken heart.
Let’s also throw it it back to September 1996, when Sabrina the Teenage Witch premiered on ABC, shall we? Honestly, I was barely a preteen, but Melissa Joan Hart was high-key everything I aspired to be. I, too, had a black American Shorthair cat! But sadly, my feline was nowhere near as talkative as Salem. Also, don’t even get me started on Aunt Zelda and Aunt Hilda, the coolest 600-year-olds on the planet.
Can you believe The Craft premiered that same year, too? I admittedly didn’t watch it until I was much older, but thanks to St. Benedict’s very own fierce witch—Nancy Downs—I am low-key prepared for the day someone sporadically warns me about the “weirdos,” all so I can slide my sunnies down my nose and say, “we are the weirdos, mister.” Here’s to hoping I’m also rocking black from head to toe, but I digress.
Witchcraft is a universal language, but in the words of Aunt Jet from the 1998 romantic fantasy gem Practical Magic. There’s a little witch in all of us. It’s time to get to know who that witch is:
Your spirited nature is part of your fiery charm. And though being the zodiac’s youngest sibling comes with a bit of naivety, it still wouldn’t take away from your fathomless grit. Being a natural-born empath can also be more challenging than you’re comfortable admitting, but this is precisely what strengthens your intuition, leading to full-on premonitions overtime.
Your ride-or-die energy is unmatched, making you one of Lord Voldermort’s most loyal and dependable supporters. Indulgent, intense and quite sadistic when triggered, you’ll go to great lengths to satiate your lusty desires and unquenchable thirst for blood. Your fixed nature is unmoving, so it’s no surprise you were the last Death Eater standing at the final battle.
Your curious intellect is your greatest superpower. So much so, only you would have the mere audacity to confront the bully with back-to-back questions… and well, you have no problem taking matters into your own hands if necessary. Your versatility and multifaceted nature makes you incredibly well-rounded, and your witty remarks keeps things light-hearted between you and your coven.
If someone lifted your heart to their ear, they could probably hear the ocean. All you’ve ever wanted is a normal life, but you also can’t help but be the compassionate witch you are. And though carrying the emotional weight of your maternal ancestors is a big cross to bear, your intuitive gifts are the reason why you will never die with a broken heart.
You’re a fiery enchantress, and the only thing you love more than art is the game of seduction. After all, you probably know Elaine as the titular character of The Love Witch (2016). Sensual and spicy, you’ll stop at nothing to pursue the man of your dreams, even if that means calling upon the goddess of love, and partaking in ritualistic love-making. Your love language is an entire performance, because there’s nothing you wouldn’t do to love, and be loved in return.
You’re clever and incredibly proficient at your craft. Analytical and studious, you’re often recognized for your brilliant strategy, and keen observation skills. Sure, you may come across as nit-picky and overly-critical, but chances are it’s with good reason. Being a “mudblood” makes you prone to overly preparing for the worst-case scenario, and you’ll do everything in your power to obey the rules… that is, unless you know what Fluffy’s guarding on the third floor, underneath the trap door.
“This Coven doesn’t need a new Supreme. It needs a new rug.” Your beauty is bewitching, but you also tend to swing between your extreme acts of kindness and being a ruthless murderess. And though decisiveness isn’t necessarily your forte, you never cease to lead with elegance and grace. Vanity comes with the turf when you’re ruled by irresistible Venus… and well, it’s not your fault you made the Axeman a fool for your love.
Power-hungry much? Manipulation is, after all, a form of magic. Similar to your modern ruler, Pluto, you’ve mastered the scheming art of scare tactics, instilling fear to those around you with dominance and mind games, not to mention a spine-tingling cackle that continues to set the bar high for witches all around the world. What most people don’t know about you, however, is you’re actually super kind and sensitive. Your undying rage stems from pain and loss. As for your all-black wardrobe, it compliments your complexion to this day.
To say you’re ambitious would be an understatement, especially since you’ll do anything and everything to improve your life, and better your circumstances. Witchcraft empowers you, but your insatiable desire for self-mastery is as ruthless as lightning. You know exactly what it takes to bring structure and stability to the secret circle, and you’re not afraid to rise up to the occasion.
You’re a wildly eccentric mistress of the dark, and your mohawk-sporting, punk rock spirit poodle is no exception. “What is there to do for fun around here?” You can’t help but cause a ruckus and stop traffic, and you do it all by simply being your most audacious self. Being flashy is almost inevitable when you’re ruled by rebellious Uranus, but your sultry aesthetic is both dazzling and filled with debauchery.
Staying in one place for too long is burdensome for you, which is why you choose to be the mystical wanderer you are. You know better than to forget your tiger’s eye during the blood moon, but your free-spirited nature continues to get you into trouble from time to time. As for romance… well, what wouldn’t you do for the right guy? Then again, your love is so addicting, it brings deceased lovers back from the dead. Thank goddess for Belladonna, or else you wouldn’t get any sleep.
Being a mutable sign means being a witch, mortal and teenage girl all at the same time. And though wandering through several dimensions simultaneously can be nothing short of exhausting, you seem to be the only one mystically equipped for the job. In addition to being a champion for the underdog, your innate awareness makes you socially conscious of the injustices happening all around you. Setting firm boundaries may not be your strongest suit, but this still wouldn’t make you any less magical.
