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Ask a Witch

I Was Ostracized From My Friend Group—How Will l Ever Trust Someone Again?

You'll know how when the time comes.

By Roya Backlund

Roya Backlund

Dear Unfriended,

Humans are hardwired to crave belonging, which is why it cuts so deep when we’re made to feel like we don’t. Despite how difficult it is to admit, we want to be loved. We want to feel accepted, cherished, and valued within our community. We deserve it, too. And when members of your community turn their back on you, it can break your entire world. In fact, it’s almost unfathomable, which is why you tend to ask all the wrong questions: What’s wrong with me? What did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? In a twisted sense, it’s easier to put the blame on yourself than contend with an even more unsettling fact: There’s nothing you could have done differently. Sometimes, people just suck. There’s nothing you can do about it, and it’s not your fault.

Feeling isolated and ostracized by a group of people is a tale as old as time. And the people who are exiled the most are often the ones who don’t mask their truth—the ones who don’t bend to societal norms. These are the people who go against the grain and live outside of the box, making them targets for those who feel threatened by their courage to do so. Conforming to a group’s “majority rule” means having to follow a set of guidelines that keep everyone small and assimilated. When you choose not to take part of that herd mentality—in any way, no matter how small—your sheer existence upsets the balance. It triggers the parts of their psyches that know they aren’t brave enough to be true to themselves. As a result, you become the target of their projection. Just look at the Salem Witch Trials, which targeted people who weren’t afraid to live somewhat unconventional lives, like women who were financially-independent or unmarried.

Your birth chart shows you as someone who can’t help but stand out. You were born with a Gemini stellium that includes your moon, Mercury, and Venus. You’re someone who isn’t afraid to speak their mind and look at things from the opposite spectrum. You need to feed your curiosities like oxygen. You love a little controversy and can’t help but brilliantly spice things up at a moment of tension. Your Black Moon Lilith is also sitting in Gemini, which makes you even more provocative and confronting than the average Gemini. In astrology, the Black Moon Lilith is a point in the sky that sits near the lunar apogee (a.k.a. the point in the moon’s orbit that sits farthest from Earth, well into exile). The Black Moon Lilith represents the part of you that refuses to bend to society’s will. It describes what makes you “not of this world,” and thus, a terrifying prospect. You are one of Lilith’s warriors, which means you’re always going to trigger people and reveal what they are most afraid to face. However, you’re also a protector of the misfit and the outsider—a champion for those who live on the fringe. You’re empathetic to those who don’t fit in because you know how it feels.

This daring and fire-starting part of your personality has attracted many admirers throughout your life, which is probably how you became friends with these people in the first place. However, your genius and unabashed confidence means that some of these admirers will actually turn out to be fair-weather friends, or even downright haters. Your Gemini stellium is squaring off with your natal Mars—planet of conflict and aggression—in your 12th house of spiritual exchanges and unseen enemies, which means that your provocative energy inevitably strikes a deep chord within them. However, it can also attract people who don’t actually have your back and just want to siphon your energy. You’ve probably struggled with wishing you could change things, fix things, or somehow be “enough” for certain people. Your Gemini stellium is also squaring off with your natal Saturn—which happens to be in idealistic Pisces—forcing you to recognize that sometimes, the Universe is actually protecting you when it removes people from your life. Trust me, there’s a lot to protect here.

These inner struggles have taken on a whole new meaning since last year. Not only are you going through your Saturn return, but Jupiter—planet of growth and abundance—has also been moving through Gemini since May 25, 2024, emphasizing the experience of your Gemini stellium. Since then, Jupiter and Saturn have been in a tense and uncomfortable dance with each other, forming a square that has at times felt very motivating and inspiring, but also discouraging and alienating.

A series of eclipses on the Aries-Libra axis have also been dramatically rearranging your relationships since 2023. Your rising sign (a.k.a. your “ascendant”) happens to be in Libra, making you someone who abhors unnecessary conflict and really just wants everyone to get along. During the time these issues with your “friends” began—possibly around March 24, 2024, when a lunar eclipse landed right next to your ascendant—the South Node of Karma was moving through Libra, the cardinal air sign of harmony and cooperation. But the South Node always forces you to let go of something—to shed the weight of something you’re no longer meant to carry. And with the South Node moving through your first house of the self, this past year has been about letting go of former versions of yourself and stepping into a new light. When you change, your relationships inevitably change too, especially if this new “you” threatens the dynamic they’re comfortable having with you—especially if their presence in your life actually inhibits your growth more than supports it.

Right now, the weight of what you lost and what you were forced to go through hurts. And whenever the memory comes up, it’ll probably always sting a little. However, it’s nothing compared to what you have going for you in the near future. On June 9, lucky Jupiter will enter Cancer, where it is considered to be “exalted.” Jupiter will then immediately cross your midheaven, which is the most public area of your chart. Your midheaven describes your reputation in the outer world and what you’re most known for, which is why I have no doubt Jupiter in Cancer will be a huge glow-up for your career, possibly even setting you up for fame and glory, as your sun sign also happens to be in Cancer. Because your Gemini stellium is also situated in your ninth house of travel, education, and publishing, I predict this new era in your career could be when major breakthroughs unfold in your intellectual pursuits and passion projects. Remember, success is always the best revenge.

As far as establishing a healthy and healing routine goes, you’re already learning how to do that. Your Saturn return is currently happening in your sixth house of health, wellness, and service, which is forcing you to create discipline in your daily rituals and activities. Consistency will take you far right now, especially if you’re soon to release your best work yet.

One thing is for sure—your ex-friends are obsessed with you. And whether they remain your lifelong haters or eventually attempt to reenter your life with their tails between their legs, you’re clearly their favorite topic to discuss. And that’s where your true power lies. Even when people are terrified or even disgusted by your ideas, they’ll never be able to stop thinking about them. They’ll never be able to stop wondering why you bother them so much (and what that might actually say about them). Get used to it, because you are someone who was destined to disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. And that’s why you’ll always be remembered. If they have nothing else to talk about, why not give them something to talk about?

Just because you were rejected by these people doesn’t mean everyone will. Instead of seeing it as proof that history will inevitably repeat itself, see it for what it actually is—an experience that was always meant to be fuel for your creative fire. And that fire is currently leading to your greatest masterpiece yet. It may be a core wound, but every artist needs one.

Dreamily,
Roya

About Roya

Roya Backlund is StyleCaster’s Senior Lifestyle & Astrology Editor and a professional witch. Born in Los Angeles on May 26—the same day as Stevie Nicks—she’s been obsessed with the zodiac since she discovered she was a Gemini as a child. Her interest in mysteries and the occult began in the metaphysical section at her local Borders. If you’re a fan of astrology, spirituality, and witchcraft, you’ve probably read her horoscopes and lifestyle articles, which have appeared elsewhere in Elite Daily, PopSugar, Astrology.com, and more. Whether you want to delve deeper into your birth chart or interpret signs from your spirit guides, Roya’s got you covered.