An Ode to DJ Khaled’s Distractingly Massive Gold Chain—and Others That Came Before It
I bought a new choker on Monday. It’s a thick piece of fabric that has blue and white stripes across it, and cute snaps in the back. I wore said choker twice already this week, swagging it around my office and my apartment (it was a slow plans week), feeling generally cocky that I had the good fortune of snagging it with a matching shirt. Cool, right? Wrong. As of this afternoon, I’m now convinced the only truly cool thing to wear around your neck is a gold chain-link necklace encrusted with diamonds, boasting a three-inch-thick girth, give or take.
This revelation came courtesy of sagelike DJ Khaled who posted an Instagram revealing the cover art for his new Drake collab entitled “For Free,” a downright hilarious name given the fact that the accessories pictured are most certainly not free. In fact, it’s a safe bet to assume they’re the opposite of free, considering a quick Google search of “gold chain link necklace with diamonds rapper” brought me to a site called Trax NYC (not to be confused with Tracks NYC, the commuter-filled cocktail bar nestled deep in the bowels on Manhattan’s always-classy Penn Station) which is selling a Miami Cuban 18-Karat Yellow Gold Chain for a chill $56,253. And that’s without the damn diamonds.
I haven’t heard the song yet, but I have heard reactions aplenty around my office to Khaled’s choice accessory, ranging from “he is not playing” and “I think I might need that necklace” to “fuck the music, it’s the chain.”
Khal, of course, isn’t the first celebrity to rock a sizable gold chain (or two) for reasons that don’t need explaining, but a website called Hip Hop My Way explained it anyway: “Rappers are constantly trying to outdo each other in the jewelry department…. Rapper chains are getting bigger and more expensive and are often laden with diamonds. It’s not uncommon to drop tens of thousands of dollars on hip hop jewelry, and some rappers have their jewelry shown off by others, turning them into goons on social media.”
Some members of the aforementioned goon squad:
Kanye West, aka Scowl Chainz
Slick Rick, aka Fuck You Aiport Security Chainz
Wiz Khalifa, aka Emaci-Chain
Soulja Boy, aka 15 Minutes of Famez Chainz
Fetty Wap, aka This Shit Cost More than $1,738 Chain
Flo Rida, aka Your Mom Really Loves My Music Chains
Tyga, aka Lame Chain
Lil Jon, aka 3 Words Chain
French Montana, aka Stop Tryna Make Me Happen Chain
Omarion, aka I Miss the Early 2000s Chainz
2 Chainz, aka Some Days 7 Chainz
MC Hammer, aka Being Broke Is Worth It Chain
Future, aka Freechainz
NAS, aka Chill Chain
Paul “Pauly D” DelVecchio aka Sit Down Chain
